Jokes

here is a joke for depression from abstrusegoose. Have fun reading!

The editor tells the new writer his article is not accepted. The writer immediately tares off the book on his desk.

The editor: come down, that is not a big deal, don't put your anger on the book.

The new writer: the article in this book is useless, next time I'll copy elsewhere.

A dog falls in love with a cat. It plans to propose to the cat at the midnight.

So, they met, witnessed by the moon,

dog: I love you, would you be my girl?

Cat: NO, that is impossible

dog: I really love you, I know it's hard for you to accept that a dog fall in love with a cat. But, everything will work out fine. Someday, when you see our little baby “Dat”(combination of dog and cat), you will know how stupid what you fear of today.

Cat: NO, that is impossible

dog: come on, baby, don't be afraid. I promise everything will just be fine.

Cat: NO, you idiot, I am not a gay.

Little potato got a job in a firm. Dozens of documents stacked on the desk, waited for him to follow up. The little potato is very slow in getting the work done.

By the end of the day, the boss came in the little potato room and say: If you not get your work done, you are fired. Little potato answered: sir, I had sit on this couch for whole day.

all insects plan to have a party. Everybody promise to bring their favourite food.

Butterfly brings pollen. Ant brings sugar. Grasshopper brings leaves. Termite brings Sawdust. Bee brings honey. Housefly brings....shit

  

God: Staircase toward the heaven is open for you now.

human: Oh my god, I prefer to take escalator.

Mom, brother beat me with toys

It's okay honey, your dad promise to bring back new toys tonight.

A boy stole the wallet of his classmate and caught by the teacher.

The teacher: Why do you took his wallet?

The boy: Because you stopped me before I manage to put back his wallet after I put the money in my pocket.

A: Why the dog always bite my shoes?

B: Because it difficult for a dog to tear your shoes with it palms.

Two people were walking side by side, toward a street at the end of the town. After walking for around 15 minutes,

A: Where are we going?

B: I don't know?

A: Why are you following me?

B: Because I don't know where I am going.

Dear fan,

Miss your supports all this while,

regret that I had didn't appreciated while you were still around,

recall every time I got hot, you simply cooled me down,

when you were around, me life was always sound.

without you, my life is nothing more than fever, fever, fever.

Love you, miss you, wondering will you come back before I burned up....

love,

refrigerator

Mathematical perspective?

what number divided by 2 will return half of it

blond: 1,8,11......

geek: all

joe: 4

Takeshi Giant see a crow singing on the tree at his backyard.

Takeshi Giant: Hey, little guy, you have a big voice.

the crow: Hey, big guy, I am the best musician in the world. Even the finest musical instrument can't challenge my voice.

So, both of them started to make lot of sound in that lovely morning.

Men: Finally I have a chance to apply my studied psychological theory, in anyway, will you support me?

Women: Of course, honey.

Men: Well, according to the psychological theory, a broken heart will always find a new life and it's a great way toward spiritual growth.

Women: Yes, honey.

Men: I love you so much that I always want the best for you. What else is better in this world than let you growth infinity in spiritual life.

Women: …....

Our life had been in a mess,

you had been chasing me all day long,

you shown up everywhere I went,

when you were too hungry,

you even waited me in front of my house,

showed your starving face,

even when I try to find food elsewhere, you did not left me alone.

what is our destiny?

Are we meant to live in miserable, till the last breath in our life?

Remember when we first met,

in the corner of this town,

you were in a rush,

I chased you as far as I could,

yet, you ran away,

disappear from my sight,

leaving me cool, hungry, in the lonely night,

you had been my lucid dream since that day.

I always bear you in my mind,

when my owner didn't fed me,

I fantasized the moment we met in front of your house,

without a second thought,

I went there.

But, you didn't show up,

I tried to find you in the place you normally hang out.

I felt so hungry,

whenever I think of you,

Just can't forgot how delicious you taste,

I guess,

it's a destiny that we met,

I swore,

will never give up until the day you are in my stomach.

I think we have no choice, but to live in the mess till your last breath.

It's just a letter from a mouse to a cat and it's reply

In the early morning, you ring my door bell,

tell me fancy story,

it seem like the existence of the world is just for me,

slowly,

you lead me to the world that full of fancy imagination,

telling me how I can fly in that beautiful world,

everything seem so wonderful, amazing, and unbelievable,

until the moment I yell at you

“can you leave me alone, salesman!”

2 monkey swinging in the cage of the zoo

monkey A: why we were borne as monkey?

monkey B: Because if we were borne as chimpanzee, we will need a bigger cage.

Remember the time when we were together,

living happily everyday,

holding hand by hand

sitting side by side

talking heart to heart

and swear that we will never be apart

what a wonderful memory

oh, my lovely shadow

The teacher was teaching how to mold a new cup in the art class. After one hour of molding, the teacher, everybody have their DIY cup on hand. The teacher say, let have a break. Everybody throw the cup to the floor.

A guy lost in the middle of the night. He found an old temple on his way of searching way home.  So, he go in the temple, planning to rest in there until the early morning of next day. Suddenly he see a figure come close to him saying, shhh…... I think I see a ghost. The guy turns around and say to himself, I think the ghost just talked to me.